Hideous Oneupsmanship

My fellow ROBOTECH fans, prepare for misery. No, it's not another unfortunate Shadow Chronicles announcement. This is more ... superficially awful. Its awfulness is merely transient, though it may linger with you awhile. Depends on how well your brain deals with trauma. Perhaps you may be able to block the horror out and get on with your life. If so, you're a far better man than I.

Today Darkwater posted a YouTube video of the opening sequence of Space Gundam V, the horrible Korean cartoon that ripped off the VF-1J mecha design for its title robot. Click on over here to watch that bit of horror.

Morbidly curious and gifted with a taste for things that are awful cultivated by too much Mystery Science Theater 3000, I dug around YouTube myself and discovered whole clips of the show; evidently some "kind" person snipped out some of the robot fighting and posted them to the YouTube to share. Below you can witness two such clips, selected only because they're the first two I watched before common sense prevailed and I decided to stop the hurting.

First up, five whole minutes of Rick Hunter's VF-1J, piloted by some kid in a really badly drawn Veritech flight helmet and a jumpsuit with a giant "G" on his chest, battling some kind of gargoyle. At one point it shoots the purple sword-wielding, fire-breathing gargoyle with its twin head-lasers ... right in the groin. If such things interest you, watch away ... but don't say I didn't warn you. The bit where "Space Gundam V" defeats his foe has to be seen to be believed. It's mind-numbingly loopy.



Wait ... it gets worse. Here's a sequence with a giant rat, evidence that the kid who pilots "Space Gundam V" can fly like Superman, and summons the purloined Valkyrie by raising his arms into the air and shouting "GUNDAM! GUNDAM!" (That bit is ripped off of the 1974 robot anime Yuusha Raideen. No original ideas here!) And then of course, you get to watch a Valkryie fight a REALLY, REALLY GIANT RAT. Three and a half minutes of madness here, culminating in a transformation to Fighter mode that answers the question, "Does Space Gundam V still have a U.N. Spacy/RDF insignia on its nosecone?" (The answer, of course, is "sometimes." After all, this is shitty Korean animation we're talking about -- there are no absolutes.)



There are more -- oh yes, so very many more -- but you can find those for yourself if you're a glutton for punishment. Me, I'm going to sleep and pray I don't dream of flying alien kids, super-giant rats, and invincible loser Valkyries.

*shudder*